Never on a Sunday
by Nikholas F. Toledo Zu
Summary: [Switch] My first completed fanfic. Was originally written for the Jang Choe's Decalog project, until I found out that we weren't talking about the same Ten Commandments. Have not finished my project for that called "Entropy". This was written for Chri


---- Never on a Sunday ---------- by Nikholas "Switch" F. Toledo --------  
  
This fanfic is dedicated to Mako, known elsewhere as Christine Langley,   
who will be fifteen on the 18th of April in 1999, which will be a Sunday.   
She would be celebrating two years since she first watched a Ranma movie,   
which she was hoping to receive as a gift, and would have been as   
eligible as the rest of us to be invited to the reception. We all   
probably would, too.  
  
-----Exodus-20:8-11-----------  
  
"Remember to observe the Sabbath as a holy day. ...For in the six days   
the Lord made the heaven, earth and sea, and everything in them, and   
rested the seventh day; so he blessed the Sabbath day and set it aside   
for rest."  
  
-----Connie-Francis-is-is-is-i  
  
"...never, never on a Sunday, a Sunday, a Sunday, a Sunday, a Sunday..."  
  
------------ Inlay -----------  
  
A mysterious invitation arrived at the house of the Hibiki family, late   
in the winter, in the second to the last year of the millennium. It was   
merely days since the last family get-together, which was slated for the   
middle of last year. It was good to see relatives grow up beautifully,   
as they were your dear mother/father/son/dog.   
  
Somehow, when mail came to the house, it was rarely received early enough   
to have mattered.  
  
This one was three months early.  
  
Mrs. Hibiki simply left the RSVP on her son's bed, and went to find some   
cookies for her son to eat when he would be reading it. This marked the   
last time when Mrs. Hibiki would be at home for the month of January.  
  
---  
  
Kasumi had wondered why Nabiki had sent all the invites way ahead of   
schedule.  
  
She had confronted her sister as she was closing an envelope in the   
waiting room with the TV on one afternoon. Noticing the perfume that was   
employed on the insides of the notes, she asked her middle sister right   
after she had put away yet another of the small cards.  
  
"Well," she began, "I was thinking that those who'd want to know about   
the wedding, and would want to butt in when the priest says 'Those who,   
for any reason, oppose this wedding'," she remarked, commenting on the   
Western wedding planned. "This way," here she gave the twenty-something   
housekeeper a knowing look, "they can have a say in it before the   
ceremonies commence. And I'm sure that things can be worked out to   
smooth other things through."   
  
"Ingenious," said Kasumi, with as little inflection as needed.  
  
"Indeed," replied Nabiki, already on the next note.  
  
---  
  
And they had all come their way. Within the next three months, Ranma and   
Akane had their hands full convincing people that there was a reason why   
this wedding was pushing through. They had had some rough outings, but   
this one was the big one, the one that mattered most. The things they   
had realized that they had held most dear hung in the scales.  
  
But, with all the fury, flurry and flair, one face had never come up, and   
never appeared.  
  
---  
  
April 11, 1999.  
  
Ryoga came into the house, with Checkers in tow.   
  
"Hi! Anyone home? Did I get anything in the mail?" he joked. Nothing   
ever got sent to him that was important anyhow.  
  
-- EJECT -- click -- PLAY --  
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------------Track-6-----------  
------------------------------  
  
He rounded a corner, and ended up... there. Again.  
  
Why? Why must I be tormented so? He was starting to sweat, and he   
breathed rather heavily, as heavily as his heart was beating into his   
ribs. He regretted it... he already regretted it.   
  
Ryoga stepped up, and sped to avert a disaster.  
  
---  
  
Blood. So much blood. Blood on his hands...  
  
---st-a-tic-fol-l-o-w--s------  
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------------Track-1-----------  
------------------------------  
  
Ryoga Hibiki was furious. He had been furious for the whole of the past   
week. The invitation had said that the wedding would be on the 18th of   
April, at the St. Mary's Church. For the Love of God, why hadn't he come   
home sooner? The note had probably been there for weeks. What evil has   
Ranma Saotome wielded to deal this fatal blow?  
  
Akane would never marry him. She said it, time and again. And, yet,   
now, this travesty of a wedding was going to occur. Over his dead body.   
Or, he thought maliciously, someone else's dead body.  
  
---  
  
It was a wonderfully simple occasion, draped in white. It was a happy   
occasion, aside from the murmur of discontent licking lowly at the heels   
of everyone who was there.  
  
This early in the morning, everything was white. The ceiling looked   
white, though the chapel needed repainting. The pews looked white,   
though the varnish helped. The people looked white, from Shampoo's hair   
(shining with the luster of a well-groomed mousse), to Kuno's kimono   
(which, incidentally was blue, similar in shade to his kendo uniform), to   
Ukyo's smile (which was deep and true, for all involved), to some other   
pasty faces which happened to be there as well. And, most of all, the   
bride glowed white. Ranma thought that he was glowing, as well, and he   
kept the expression in his eyes for her.  
  
There was music, and the bride went down the aisle, with a well-mannered   
Mr. Tendo in tow. Mr. Tendo was left halfway, sobbing, and replaced by a   
grinning Mr. Saotome.  
  
Ranma grazed a glance at his father, who gave the hand of his betrothed   
without ceremony, and set himself beside Akane, and promised to look at   
the priest intently.  
  
Something buzzed at the back of his brain, which would have been a cause   
for alarm and panic, because something was amiss. He glanced at Ukyo,   
who was the bridesmaid, and she gave a wink. He glanced sideways to   
Kuno, who was the best man (which, incredulously, was settled without   
dispute), but he showed no sign of attack. Cold feet, he assumed, and   
went back into the ceremony.  
  
---  
  
Ryoga turned around in place for a while, deciding which direction to go   
from the intersection he was in. He chose left, oblivious to the fact   
that a rather serene cross was atop a rather conspicuously crowded   
building over a few hundred meters to his right.  
  
---  
  
"Do you," the priest intoned, "Ranma Saotome, take Akane Tendo to be your   
lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, in   
sickness and in health, till death do you part?"  
  
Ranma stared at the shiny ring Akane placed on his fourth left finger.   
He stared at the gloved hand that held it, traced it to the sleeved arm   
that bent slightly, to the slow-sloped shoulder, strongly supporting, and   
finally to the veiled headdress, which hid silently gleaming eyes.  
  
The priest coughed politely.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Right. I do." This he said without moving his eyes from his   
life-long partner, destined to be with him since before they were born,   
and wondered which of the fates presided over this day.  
  
------------------------------  
------------Track-2-----------  
------------------------------  
  
It was pointless, he figured. He was letting his madness make the worse   
of him, and he wasn't getting anywhere near the chapel. At this rate,   
he'd be there to bear witness to the fixing up of the mess left behind.   
Dejectedly, he made an about face and trudged on with his head hung low.  
  
---  
  
Ukyo was trying very hard to concentrate on the ceremonies; she had an   
important role in the festivities to come. She had barely slept last   
night, and was lucky it didn't show on her face. She was the first to   
know that the wedding was to occur today; she had known it since...   
then. She could remember the days as though they were her last.  
  
It was the nighttime. She and Ranma were lying on their backs, staring   
at the stark starlight. They talked of friendship; they talked of love.   
They talked and talked and talked deep into the night, almost forgetting   
that they had brought Akane along. She wished that he had loved her   
more, that she had that one night, the one night alone, to remember him   
by, then leave for parts unknown. She had said so to him, but he   
couldn't. He wouldn't, not for her, nor for him. She tried to leave,   
anyhow. He asked her to stay. For him. For her. He said that it was   
important to him that she would be there. She bit her lip, and stayed.  
  
She had overcome her own concerns, that day. She would stay with him, a   
friend, a best friend. She only hoped the same for Akane.  
  
She glanced at the throng assembled. Each of them had had their own   
concerns to overcome. There was no feeling of animosity; a feeling of   
disappointment, a melancholy tinged with the sincere and heartfelt wishes   
for a happy life. The years had treated them well.  
  
There. She had thought she saw... no. Not here. She wondered where   
Ryoga would have gone to drown his sorrows in. She turned back to look   
at Ranma, who turned to look at her. She gave a supportive wink, and   
then returned to her own peace.  
  
---  
  
Ryoga thought that the world was starting to look very, very bleak,   
indeed. He hurt; he had lost everything he wanted to keep special in   
his life. Everything wanted to come apart before him, and he didn't know   
what to do.  
  
"CURSE YOU, RANMA SAOTOME!" The walls exploded left and right of him,   
and in a matter of moments, he was covered in a fine layer of dust.   
"Curse you to the deepest hells."  
  
---  
  
Thunder rumbled, too close to ignore.  
  
Kasumi turned to Nabiki. "I hope it doesn't rain."  
  
Nabiki reserved a darkened expression. "So do I."  
  
Genma turned to Soun, who glanced outside the window. "Well?"  
  
"Doesn't look like it. Maybe just upset stomachs," Soun mused.  
  
Genma remembered the smells of the kitchen this morning. "Yup." He   
supposed that everybody else, like him, was anxious to get to the   
reception.  
  
------------------------------  
------------Track-3-----------  
------------------------------  
  
Ranma, on the other hand, knew exactly what the others had mistaken as   
thunder really was. He had been on the receiving end of quite a few of   
those. He, also, was one of those that was actually anticipating it. He   
noticed, all too easily, that he hadn't seen Ryoga in possibly half a   
year, in any form.  
  
That sound was the sound of trouble coming down on him.  
  
He immediately tensed, which all the people near the altar took as a sign   
of imminent disaster. Those in the front row showed signs of distress,   
while the ones behind them turned to the massive doors of the chapel,   
sure that if an implacable force was to arrive, it would enter through   
the front.  
  
---  
  
Ryoga stumbled a bit farther down before he noticed the massive doors   
looming on his right. He took some more time to digest the visual influx   
of symbols, and a moment more to connect them. Then he started to   
seethe.  
  
---  
  
They stared at very still doors.  
  
Kasumi smiled in an undeniably at-peace manner. "How weird."  
  
Nabiki should a little less patience. "Shall we continue?" The last was   
addressed to the priest.  
  
The priest coughed some more. "Yes. Well..."  
  
Akane gave a very small grunt. There wasn't any reason for the event to   
be delayed any more. She just hoped she would be able to last through   
the reception.  
  
Ranma gave her a small but meaningful glance, which said that he heard   
the last sound. Just as silently (hopefully, just loud enough for him to   
hear), she just said, "it's okay. Nothing to worry about."  
  
Ranma's pigtail, which stood stiffly, relaxed slightly, as far as the   
braids would allow. His expression said it all: anything, you tell me,   
dear. She just smiled demurely, and turned to the priest.  
  
---  
  
Nodoka was so happy. The manhood of her son, the stability of her   
family, the merger of the two families of friends, maybe her first   
grandchild were all coming to date. The whole affair was coming to a   
beautiful end, and she couldn't help but bear a couple of tears at the   
memories that would soon be of a past life, an older life.  
  
She could almost forget how troubled the times were. When both Ranma and   
Akane were missing, how they regretted how they had pressured the two to   
a stalemate, to wed or part ways. They never completely realized how   
much they cherished the status quo, how they were still growing, still   
knowing about each other. They needed their time, and were forced to   
take it into their own hands.  
  
After an excessive amount of sleepless worry, and an exhausted and   
frustrated search for them halfway to China, they came in from a wet   
night, three females who looked, all for the life of them, like a family.   
She had let them in, and immediately knew why events had taken such a   
turn.  
  
"Mom," the girl she once knew as Ranko Tendo started.  
  
"Shhh," she pointed at the other two, who fell asleep on the couch, as   
soon as they made themselves comfortable. "I know," she said sweetly,   
not quite scoldingly, not quite amusedly.  
  
"Not that," her son/daughter replied, eyeing her, "you haven't been   
eating well, have you?"  
  
She almost laughed. He still hasn't gotten the hang of women, yet.   
  
------------------------------  
------------Track-4-----------  
------------------------------  
  
Mousse couldn't really believe that things have gone this smoothly. He,   
for one, was not going to stand for anyone to stop this wedding. It was   
just enough that the actual formalities are taking place for Shampoo to   
act civil. It was his wish, and the wish of his First Wife, for there to   
be peace during the function; and peace will come from her. However, he   
was sure that, should something disrupt the actuation, she would use that   
diversion to take what she felt to be her position.  
  
True, it wasn't really that great an obstacle to their union for him to   
be married; she was willing to take any tradition that would be to her   
benefit. Ranma conceded the point, but argued that she had a choice of   
being his Second Wife, or to be (not quite mentioning Mousse) someone   
else's First Wife. After all, the care of a Second Wife's children will   
only be secondary to the care of those borne of a First Wife. She said   
that she would consider, if he would consider.   
  
But Mousse had thought that Shampoo was widening her perspective, and   
that she might even get over to making her decision soon enough. She   
pulled on his elbow clutched in her arms, and he thought again. Much   
sooner.  
  
---  
  
Ryoga geared down, and considered. Remembering the positioning of pews   
in such a building, if he let loose on the door with a Roaring Lion   
Bullet, it was likely to blast straight through to the altar, taking with   
it the best man, the bridesmaid, the priest, and the groom and the bride.  
  
He just kept the indignation he felt warm as he prepared to break the   
door down.  
  
He took a step forward, arm extended. And stopped.  
  
He turned around, as a hand held him on the shoulder, and saw -  
  
No one.  
  
He blinked, wide-eyed.  
  
---  
  
Nabiki was being paranoid, for some reason beyond her recognition. Her   
instinct told her that her worries were going multiply, but she never   
understood exactly what her instinct liked doing with computations.  
  
Time for a flashback, she thought. Things were getting dull anyhow.  
  
She thought back to the time when Ranma and Akane went back to the dojo.   
She understood terribly why Ranma, the man of honor, would have chosen to   
elope with Akane. Everyone understood, even Kasumi, that what he did was   
the honorable thing to do. Since that issue of duty was resolved,   
preparations were immediately underway for the wedding.  
  
Ideas were bandied about. When the wedding would be, where, Shinto or   
Catholic or legal, what names the baby should have (one can never be too   
early in deciding, some would reason). Nabiki was able to make herself   
heard through the din by saying, "but, how much will it be?"  
  
Most of them turned her way, bigsweats tipping to their napes. She   
smiled, closed her eyes, and leaned back. She savored the silence.  
  
"First off, let's not forget the other suitors, both of you. I'm pretty   
sure, that you guys have made up your minds about this," she said,   
casting a low glance at the loving couple, an unusual sight at the table.   
"I'm also sure that Ukyo won't be in contention, since she was an   
accomplice. I'd just hope that you can use the same persuasion on the   
others..."  
  
Their collective mood dipped, with evil spirits floating in the   
background. Nabiki leaned in for the kill. "Now, here's my idea..."  
  
------------------------------  
------------Track-5-----------  
------------------------------  
  
"The cord."  
  
Ukyo produced the simple twine rope, light, and bent into a Moebius   
strip-like formation. Forever and ever... bonded. She shook her head to   
clear it. Must be sleepy.  
  
Kneeling before the altar, Ranma and Akane bowed themselves before the   
aspergillum-bearing cleric. Under the meticulous benediction of the holy   
man, a generous helping of holy water was used. Not generous enough, by   
Ukyo's observation, to turn the bridegroom into a bridal candidate.  
  
As the priest turned to return the water bucket to its place, all hell   
broke loose.  
  
---  
  
Kodachi chose to stay at the back, as far away as she could get from the   
center of the event while being in the same room. She still was   
frustrated by the sheer circumstance of events. If she had known Ranma   
before he was introduced to Akane, if it was her father with whom Genma   
Saotome had entrusted his son's future marriage with, if, if, if... then   
things would have turned out differently, she supposed.  
  
If she had been paying more attention, then she probably would noticed   
that the hinge of the door of the chapel held even though the door was   
violently kicked inward, but then the old screws gave as well; she would   
have, at least, been conscious, or would have avoided the subsequent   
stampede.  
  
---  
  
"RANMA!" Ryoga cried from his position. Ranma took his head from the   
cord and turned, but the motion took long enough for both Akane and Ukyo   
to stop him from charging the intruder. Kuno stepped down to intercede   
with his body.  
  
"What is the matter with you, HUH?" Ranma shouted. "WHAT THE HELL IS   
WRONG WITH YOU?" He jutted forward, but Ukyo's and Akane's grip held him   
fast.  
  
"What have you done to Akane, you fiend!" Ryoga began to charge down the   
aisle, burning with unearthly ire.  
  
"Ryoga, STOP IT!" Ukyo shouted, as she held both man and wife-to-be.  
  
"You have trespassed on a holy ceremony, cur!" Kuno snarled through   
unfurled lips. "Prepare to depart through the wrath of righteousness!"   
This was the only thing he was able to say before Ryoga used him to   
remodel the ceiling of the chapel with a sunroof.  
  
"Oh, no," Akane said quietly, as her eyes began to close, then flutter.  
  
"What's wrong, Akane?" Ukyo immediately came to her side, allowing Ranma   
to meet Ryoga a distance from the pew.  
  
"You had to pick a fight with me, didn't you." Ranma was boiling mad.   
"You didn't just do that when there was time, no, you had to butt in, and-"  
  
"You have the nerve to marry Akane, you SICK PERVERT!" Ryoga was meeting   
him head to head, glowing red. "SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! SHE NEVER LOVED   
YOU!!"  
  
"OH YEAH?! AND WHAT DOES THAT MAKE HER!? IN LOVE WITH YOU?!?" Ranma   
could barely contain the fury his fists promised.  
  
"SHUT UP!!" They both yelled, as they connected.  
  
---  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Akane screamed, and the heavens heard.  
  
--------Fast-FORWARDDDDDSTOP.   
RRRRRewind--PLAY -------  
------------------------------  
-------------------Backmask---  
------------------------------  
  
Ryoga was pierced by the scream. He twitched, as though the physical   
didn't matter, and that his mind, the tormented soul that he was, was   
skewered through the heart by the scream. He lost his senses, as though   
he was hit by a bolt of lightning, and he screamed as well.  
  
He knew that there was something wrong, and that it was with him. It was   
right under him, and it crawled along his right leg. It traveled along   
the length of his spine, chilling him completely. It went in his ear,   
and it screamed. His eardrums burst, and there was no blood.  
  
He started to cry, his eyes open into the light that seared him, burned   
his every naked cell to the core. He shook with a fear that took him   
whole and ate him.  
  
Bathing in acid, he dissolved quickly, but each separate part of himself   
knew, and he was each and every one of them, and he was screaming in a   
million voices he knew were his own.  
  
He was breathing, but only because he had to. He tried to see if he   
could move; he couldn't. He tried to see if he could hear himself, but   
found otherwise. He was still screaming in a voice that seemed separate   
from himself.  
  
"I have seen sorrow." A voice was flitting. It spoke again.  
  
"I have seen rapture."  
  
"I have seen pain."  
  
He almost forgot to breathe. It was getting harder to do.  
  
"I have seen loneliness."  
  
"I have seen beauty."  
  
"I have seen anger."  
  
"I have seen hate."  
  
"I have seen birth."  
  
He began to choke, through a non-existent throat. Bile ran up to his   
nostrils, and bubbled through them, eating them.  
  
"I have seen frustration."  
  
"I have seen love."  
  
He tried to open a lost mouth.  
  
"I have seen trust."  
  
"I have seen defiance."  
  
"I have seen happiness."  
  
"I have seen boredom."  
  
"I have seen selfishness."  
  
He tried to wriggle away in vain from the overwhelming presence which he   
recognized, was part of his own.  
  
"I have seen truth."  
  
"I have seen isolation."  
  
"I have seen mercy."  
  
He prayed for absolution.  
  
"I have seen the past."  
  
-------STOP------- PLAY ------  
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------------Track-6-----------  
------------------------------  
  
He rounded a corner, and ended up... there. Again.  
  
Why? Why must I be tormented so? He was starting to sweat, and he   
breathed rather heavily, as heavily as his heart was beating into his   
ribs. He regretted it... he already regretted it.   
  
Ryoga stepped up, and sped to avert a disaster.  
  
---  
  
Blood. So much blood. Blood on his hands...  
  
---st-a-tic-fol-l-o-w--s------  
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- - Continuous Play Selected -  
- - - - - - Initial Track - -  
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--STOP-------- Record ----  
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---------------in-Track-2-----  
  
Ukyo was trying very hard to concentrate on the ceremonies; she had an   
important role in the festivities to come. She had barely slept last   
night, and was lucky it didn't show on her face. She was the first to   
know that the wedding was to occur today; she had known it since...   
then. She could remember the days as though they were her last.  
  
It was the nighttime. She and Ranma were lying on their backs, staring   
at the stark starlight. They talked of friendship; they talked of love.   
They talked and talked and talked deep into the night, almost forgetting   
that they had brought Akane along. She wished that he had loved her   
more, that she had that one night, the one night alone, to remember him   
by, then leave for parts unknown. She had said so to him, but he   
couldn't. He wouldn't, not for her, nor for him. She tried to leave,   
anyhow. He asked her to stay. For him. For her. He said that it was   
important to him that she would be there. She bit her lip, and stayed.  
  
She had overcome her own concerns, that day. She would stay with him, a   
friend, a best friend. She only hoped the same for Akane.  
  
She glanced at the throng assembled. Each of them had had their own   
concerns to overcome. There was no feeling of animosity; a feeling of   
disappointment, a melancholy tinged with the sincere and heartfelt wishes   
for a happy life. The years had treated them well.  
  
There. She had thought she saw... it was.   
  
Ryoga.   
  
He didn't look like he was going to make a fight out of this. He just   
looked tense. OK, she thought. She let a breath she didn't know she was   
holding out.  
  
She turned back to look at Ranma, who turned to look at her. She gave a   
supportive wink, and then returned to her a greater peace.  
  
--STOP---Fast-FORWARDDDDDD  
--STOP--------- PLAY ---------  
------------------------------  
------------Track-5-----------  
------------------------------  
  
"The cord."  
  
Ukyo produced the simple twine rope, light, and bent into a Moebius   
strip-like formation. Forever and ever... bonded. She shook her head to   
clear it. Must be sleepy.  
  
Kneeling before the altar, Ranma and Akane bowed themselves before the   
aspergillum-bearing cleric. Under the meticulous benediction of the holy   
man, a generous helping of holy water was used. Not generous enough, by   
Ukyo's observation, to turn the bridegroom into a bridal candidate.  
  
As the priest turned to return the water bucket to its place, all hell   
broke loose.  
  
---  
  
Kodachi chose to stay at the back, as far away as she could get from the   
center of the event while being in the same room. She still was   
frustrated by the sheer circumstance of events. If she had known Ranma   
before he was introduced to Akane, if it was her father with whom Genma   
Saotome had entrusted his son's future marriage with, if, if, if... then   
things would have turned out differently, she supposed.  
  
If she had been paying more attention, then she probably would noticed   
that the hinge of the door of the chapel held even though the door was   
violently kicked inward, but then the old screws gave as well. It was a   
good thing that Ryoga close enough to grab her, and get her out of harm's   
way.  
  
"Thank you, kind sir." Kodachi's eyes shone with a familiar light.   
"Excuse me, what is your -"  
  
"Not now," Ryoga told her, and pushed her in the general direction of   
motion of the stampede. He had a fight to settle.  
  
---  
  
"RANMA!" Ryoga cried from his position. Ranma took his head from the   
cord and turned, but the motion took long enough for both Akane and Ukyo   
to stop him from charging the intruder. Kuno stepped down to intercede   
with his body.  
  
"What is the matter with you, HUH?" Ranma shouted. "WHAT THE HELL IS   
WRONG WITH YOU?" He jutted forward, but Ukyo's and Akane's grip held him   
fast.  
  
"What have you done to Akane, you fiend!" Ryoga began to charge down the   
aisle, burning with unearthly ire.  
  
"Ryoga, STOP IT!" Ukyo shouted, confused. How did Ryoga get out of the   
chapel? He was just there, between Azusa and Mousse.  
  
"You have trespassed on a holy ceremony, cur!" Kuno snarled through   
unfurled lips. "Prepare to depart through the wrath of righteousness!"   
He was, in turn, blocked by another yellow-shirted figure.  
  
"Step aside, Kuno," the figure said, "I'll handle him."  
  
"And who might you be, to stand in the path of justice?" He turned the   
figure in front of him, to see another Ryoga.  
  
"What sorcery is this?" He fell back befuddled as Ryoga turned to Ranma,   
"I'll take care of him, you take care of Akane."  
  
"What the -" Ranma's aura was replaced by an air of confusion.   
  
"Oh, no," Akane said quietly, as her eyes began to close, then flutter.  
  
"What's wrong, Akane?" Ukyo immediately came to her side. Ranma turned   
to hold his bride up, as Ryoga turned to his double.  
  
"Who're you?" the Ryoga closer to the broken door stopped to shout. "If   
you were me, you'd help me stop him from taking Akane away!"  
  
"You idiot," the Ryoga screening the bridal entourage shouted back,   
"you're going to end up losing her, you fool."  
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" the former Ryoga said. "YOU'RE ALLOWING HIM TO TAKE   
HER AWAY FOREVER? STOP HIM!" He advanced a step.  
  
"DON'T TAKE ANOTHER STEP," the latter Ryoga said evenly.  
  
The former snarled, "JUST MAKE ME!" He ran full tilt across the pews   
toward the departing group.  
  
"NO!!" The latter ran to intercept.  
  
---  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" Akane screamed, and the heavens heard.  
  
---  
  
"Oh," Ryoga breathed.  
"My," Ryoga breathed.  
"God."  
  
--------Fast-FORWARDDDDDSTOP.   
RRRRRewind--PLAY -------  
------------------------------  
-------------------Backmask---  
------------------------------  
  
Let our response be:  
  
"To save a life, you must first be aware that there is a life to save."  
  
Repeat.  
  
-------STOP------- PLAY ------  
------------------------------  
------------Track-6-----------  
------------------------------  
  
He rounded a corner, and ended up... there. Again.  
  
Why? Why must I be tormented so? He was starting to sweat, and he   
breathed rather heavily, as heavily as his heart was beating into his   
ribs. He regretted it... he already regretted it.   
  
Ryoga stepped up, and sped to avert a disaster.  
  
---  
  
Blood. So much blood. Blood on his hands...  
  
---st-a-tic-fol-l-o-w--s------  
------------------------------  
- - Tape - Finished - - - - -   
- - Continuous Play Selected -  
- - - - - - Initial Track - -  
--STOP---Fast-FORWARDDDDDD  
--STOP-------- Record ----  
------------------------------  
-----------------in-Track-4---  
  
Ryoga geared down, and considered. Remembering the positioning of pews   
in such a building, if he let loose on the door with a Roaring Lion   
Bullet, it was likely to blast straight through to the altar, taking with   
it the best man, the bridesmaid, the priest, and the groom and the bride.  
  
He just kept the indignation he felt warm as he prepared to break the   
door down.  
  
He took a step forward, arm extended. And stopped.  
  
He turned around, as a hand held him on the shoulder, and saw -  
  
Himself.  
  
"Who in the world??" By reflex, he drew the arm which was free, and   
belted him.  
  
He went over to find a very, very convincing copy of himself lying on the   
ground. A few feet away, something landed. He went to pick it up: it   
was an invitation. It had the name "Akane Tendo" encircled, and the name   
"Ranma Saotome" cruelly crossed out. He compared it to the invite he   
kept in his front pocket; it was an exact replica.  
  
The other Ryoga was shaking his head. Ryoga grabbed him by the   
shoulders. "Who are you??"  
  
The Ryoga being shook sobered. "I think we've got a lot of talking to   
do." He started to drag the other Ryoga off.  
  
The first Ryoga stopped. "But... the wedding... I've got to stop..."  
  
The second Ryoga grasped him by the shoulder. "We're going there."  
  
Ryoga #1 looked skeptical. "How do I know you're not lying?"  
  
Ryoga #2 continued walking the two of them. "Would I lie to me?"   
  
--STOP---Fast-FORWARDDDDDD  
--STOP--------- PLAY ---------  
------------------------------  
------------Track-5-----------  
------------------------------  
  
"The cord."  
  
Ukyo produced the simple twine rope, light, and bent into a Moebius   
strip-like formation. Forever and ever... bonded. She shook her head to   
clear it. Must be sleepy.  
  
Kneeling before the altar, Ranma and Akane bowed themselves before the   
aspergillum-bearing cleric. Under the meticulous benediction of the holy   
man, a generous helping of holy water was used. Not generous enough, by   
Ukyo's observation, to turn the bridegroom into a bridal candidate.  
  
The priest returned the water bucket to its position, and went to take   
the chalice from the center of the altar, for the Communion.  
  
---  
  
Kodachi chose to stay at the back, as far away as she could get from the   
center of the event while being in the same room. She still was   
frustrated by the sheer circumstance of events. If she had known Ranma   
before he was introduced to Akane, if it was her father with whom Genma   
Saotome had entrusted his son's future marriage with, if, if, if... then   
things would have turned out differently, she supposed.  
  
But "what-ifs" have no place in a healthy woman's mind. And there are   
other fish to fry, err... other fish in the ocean. She laughed silently   
to herself. The people closest to her looked once, and never dared to   
glance her way for the remainder of the wedding.  
  
---  
  
"I hereby pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."  
  
Ranma was one step ahead. So was Akane.  
  
Amidst the applause, the cheers, the kudoses, the claps-in-the-back, the   
hugs, the other kisses (Mikado was quite forcibly restrained at this   
point), and the simple reality of the thing, a small beam of light shone   
particularly bright on Ryoga, who marveled.  
  
"Oh, no," Akane said quietly, as her eyes began to close, then flutter.  
  
"What's wrong, Akane?" Ukyo immediately came to her side. Ryoga was   
also there, along with the rest of the Tendo household.  
  
"I... I think... it's time," Akane said breathlessly through the cramps.  
  
"I'll go get Dr. Tofu," Kasumi suggested.  
  
"No, I'll do it, Kasumi," Ryoga offered. "Where is he?"  
  
"Better yet," Nabiki quickly interrupted, "I'll get him." And she went   
to do just that. Ryoga tagged along, needing to do something.  
  
"Father," Ukyo asked the priest, "is it OK if we use the altar?"  
  
Nonplussed, the clergyman said, "you have God's blessing, dear. I'm sure   
that bringing life into the world was exactly what He planned for it to   
be used."  
  
Together, they hefted the expectant Akane onto the altar. The priest   
said, "I'll see if Sister Angela knows anything about midwifery."  
  
------------------------------  
------------Track-6-----------  
------------------------------  
  
He rounded a corner, and ended up... there. With Nabiki.  
  
Nabiki waved a hand in front of his face. "Hello? What are you staring   
at?"  
  
He replied, "oh, nothing. Just glad to see the day come to an end."  
  
She quipped, "you're telling me."  
  
Ryoga stepped up, and matched Nabiki's pace.  
  
---  
  
Blood. So much blood. Blood on his hands...  
  
"Breathe easy, Akane. Hold my hand. Listen to me," Ranma was starting   
to sound ragged, "just, just curse at me. C'mon, you know that it was my   
fault. I went into your room, and forced you. C'mon... please, just say   
something..."   
  
Akane glanced sideways at him, and said, "no, *huff* it wasn't. *unngh*   
I *hunnnh* was *uh!* the one *oooom* who *RRRRRh* kissed *huff* you."   
She paused for a few moments, to collect her breath. "And it's bad   
*ugggh* to curse, *mmmmp* in a holy place."  
  
Dr. Tofu shouted, "I can see the head! Push, Akane! PUSH!"   
  
------------------------------  
----------Bonus-Track---------  
------------------------------  
  
The reception continued at Dr. Tofu's clinic. Everything was festive and   
jovial, and was interrupted only once, when the doorbell rang.  
  
"Who is it?" Kasumi was the first one at the door. "Oh, my."  
  
Two Ryogas asked her, "is this where the reception of the Saotome wedding   
is supposed to be?" They both scratched the backs of their heads.  
  
-- STOP -- EJECT -- click --  
------------------------------  
----------------Nota-Finis----  
  
I might have forgotten to put it in, but I'm still thinking of naming the   
kid "Mako". But, I suppose that's all up to the original. Happy   
birthday, Mako-chan! Hope this was an OK enough a present.   
  
C&C will be very much appreciated. Thank you in advance.  
  
----------------Esoterica-----  
  
Aspergillum: the container of holy water used for benedictions  
  
St. Mary's & Sister Angela: c'mon, guess.  
  
Backmasking: the process of inserting subliminal messages in songs by   
overlapping the songs on the tape with the message (usually in reverse)  
  
Inlay (card): the thing included in packages of tapes/CDs which include   
copyrighting, lyrics, and assorted blahs.  
  
-----------------Disclaimer---  
  
"Never on a Sunday" is Ranma 1/2 fanfiction. Characters from Ranma 1/2   
are used without permission. Sister Angela is also used without   
permission. Ranma 1/2 and the series where Sister Angela comes from are   
copyright Rumiko Takahashi (I'm sure), Shogakukan, Kitty Film, Viz   
Communication (hey, it isn't really called Ranma 1/2 there, it's in   
Japanese). No infringement was intended. The content may not be used   
for commercial purposes. Sorry for the inconveniences.  
  
----Switch--------Keeper-of-the-Zoo--------Nikholas-F-Toledo-Zu--------- 


End file.
